small island studio by 宣雄
Xiong Xuan Melancholy
This is Melancholy Xiong Xuan's personal website, just about my drawings, essays and some photos during drawing process, this is my everyday drawing life as an artist, I built up this small-island since 2013 at State College, PA. I know how precious to have your support, it is meaningful to drawing everyday, and it is meaningful that you see it on my website, it is like an isolated small island, away from lure from reality world, let me be dreaming, if you like my drawings, I will be so appreciating your support, thank you very much. contact: melancholysmallislandstudio@gmail.com or xiong.xuan@gmail.com
Melancholy's essay on November-9, 2026
这是我在小红书上听到的一段话，是徐姐说的，我听了很感动，好像她就是说给我听的，我就当她是说给我的吧，当然，她把我说的太好了。她是这么说的：你啊，真的是不简单。我今天算是彻底服了你。就是你让我知道，原来在这个世界上还能有你这样的一个女人。就是能活的那么的有格局，那么的有底蕴。你不追求这些浮华的东西，你也从来不去取悦任何人，你就凭着自己这一腔的坚韧和主见，活出了一份属于自己的姿态和尊严。你的生活简单平淡，但是你内心却非常的强大，而且不张扬。就是一种什么感觉？你好像仿佛在喧嚣之中，能保持住属于自己的那一片宁静，会让人不由自主的，想要去靠近你吧，却又不自觉的保持一副一种生人勿近的敬畏，还有一种捉摸不透的光芒。你的故事远比你的表面看起来会更让人深刻。而你每一步的选择，更加充满了力量。包括你的智慧，令无数人都默默的去参悟。而你呢，也用行动诠释了什么叫做真正意义上的高级，什么叫做不依赖不妥协的这种独特的生命力。看到这里，能不能把这右边的一排给点亮，让我呢，给你链接一下，分享一下，你散发出来的光芒还有力量。
Melancholy's essay on November-10,2026: the Pianist
While I was drawing today, I wanted to listen some Chopin piano songs, so I turned on "the Pianist" movie, but for some reason, the image couldn't show up, so I just listen this familiar movie again. I see humanity of different people. I see how easily to be separated from your family forever, that's why you should treasure them every single day, with all your heart. When the pianist has to raise his family by playing piano at a high-up restaurant, he saw a rich woman smiling at him, so immediately, he looks so pleased to be seen, and smile her back. At that moment, I suddenly understand, all his smile, happy face, interaction, to me, just his survive skill, not he mean it. He even enjoyed my admiration and sincere desire to learn from him, and my friendship to his heart. I finally see he simply reacted politely in general. I wrote about 30 letters to him, wanted to talk about my drawings with him, but he never write back, including those letters when I write about his drawings, how I perceive it, how I feel about it. He simply ignored me silently. Until my tears dry and no more sad any more. So it's over for me. I no longer put him to my heart anymore, only wish no more, anything, just stop forever. When he cross the wall into polish district, a woman musician he used to like, helped him. She hide him in a empty apartment, lock him inside, and told him to be silent as more as possible. But he saw there is a piano by the window, when he turn the seat, over and over again, I guess he couldn't resist it at all. And then he sit on, start playing ........ but pay attention to his hands! look! His fingers didn't touch the keyboard at all! He was playing it in his mind! What a great musician he is! This sene cause me remember Beethoven. I am not sure when he wrote "Fate" symphony No.5, that's my favorite piece of work. Because I indeed felt the uneven、frustrated fate in his music, and how heavy it is, no matter how much struggle you make, you will still be so meager and so helpless, in front of your fate. This sounds like fatalism a little bit. After his ears completely deaf, he continued his art, he wrote music in his mind, and created some more great pieces. No one knows why his ears punishingly deaf, but it is his fate, when this kind of hurt suddenly hit on his head. How could he refuse, how could he fight back, how could he win it? Music is his soul, you can not order him to stop his work. For an artist like him, working, working, working is everything he need. There is a difference between musician and artist, that is, once musician write a symphony, or a song, he need other people to play it out, so he could see his work completed, but artist can work alone, and enjoy the working process being alone. For me, I am used to work alone, quietly, with Van Gogh's story, or with some music I like, or like today, listen a movie I familiar with, it's totally ok. But I definitely need to work alone, because only when I am drawing alone, I could have flowing ideas, like leaves on a stream, sometimes, an idea shining super fast, like a sunshine spot on water. And I have to write down immediately. Sometimes, Van Gogh say a good sentence, I will write it down on my notebook also. I need to think about art deeply, feel sensitively, and form an essay in my mind. That's why I need quite time to be myself. So that I can be really really eager, be totally engaged with my work. Because I want to make great artwork totally by myself, totally my own idea, and my own feeling, and my own hand. That's why even when I am not playing anything, just silent, please do not talk around me at all, because I could be thinking deeply, or I just need a quiet moment to take a look at my work, to decide how to deal with this current situation, to decide what to do next. So if you like Melancholy's work, please give her space to work, without disturbance at all. That's true friendship with understanding and respect. I have a suggestion to friends who have a lot to say, you can write it down, on your notebook, as if you are writing to someone. i stoped my own childish letter behavior by doing this. And you are welcome to write to my email: melancholysmallislandstudio@gmail.com .One more thing about "the Pianist" is his skill, his level of playing. The sene in the abandoned house at night, when the German officer noticed him, if he played badly, i guess the German will shoot him. But because his hand is highly trained hands, hyper skilled, even when his mood is not quite ok to play, but his hands can do the work, perfectly. That's because his daily practice to himself, honestly. practice is always the best teacher ever! I like finished piano pieces, like Mozart is my favorite composer. But I also like some pianists' hands playfully touch some keys randomly, occasionally, without complete design of a full sentence, but just a couple of notes. It's like you watch a fuzzy head of a 6-year old boy, how cute his little nose, how happy his blinking eyes. I have been teaching a 6 year old child drawing for half a year now. His name is Guoguo 果果。He is very clever, and he likes drawing very much. I just taught him little animals in children's way, make it very easy to follow. He like it very much. I teach him every Saturday afternoon around 2:30, for 45 minutes. In 2027, it will be Saturday morning time. I see the shining light on this little kid, and I understand, if he willing to become an artist in future, it will be a great gift for him, because art is going to make him very happy. All details, all skills, just games to have fun. Of course he heed to practice patience also, like, I let him draw the scales of a fish, and draw grapes also. I was leading him, and encouraging him, and he is doing well. I do this for fun, because i like talking to this little kid, question him what he learn at school. Surprisingly, he told me that he likes to draw military stuffs, I'll do that with him after all animals lessons over. I may show his work to you sometimes, I am sure he will make you smile. But, seriously, so far, I can not tutor any students at all, because I need all my time and attention to my drawings. I am doing my "New Renaissance“ plan right now. It's a big plan for 15 years time. Right now, I am doing fundamental training to myself, by doing cast-drawings, including the Prodigal Son, Moses, Pietà, Giants' Fighting, and a couple of photography by Sander. It will take 3 years time to complete the sculpture drawings. And then it's going to be audience-series, with photos I took in person, at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. So by the time I used up all my drawing papers, I should and would like to have an solo exhibition, by then. So far, I just wish to keep working, be away from crowed big cities, my little town is my second hometown, I like it very much, I would like to finish my plan, right here, at my loving small-island studio, right here. After that, I would be 55, and I could share what I know about art with students coming to me. But right now, I have to treasure every minute to do my plan. I have to finish my drawing plan first, and then I can open to students, if that's not too late. I think it's never too late, until I am ready. Handwriting by Melancholy on November-10, 2026. Thanks for having me.
Announce:
Today is October 25th 2025, on Hao's birthday, I --- Melancholy (Xiong Xuan) announce myself with two of my recent drawings--- Demo 2 and Street-Musicians 2. I am a pencil drawing artist, working with pencil only, at my small-island studio. I announce that drawing is a independent way of expression, independent from painting and sculpture, it is a lone genre by itself. It is a new way. Leonardo Da Vinci draw beautifully, and Michelangelo draw beautifully, and Raphael draw beautifully too. They are my teachers, I learn from their work, by looking and by copying to study after these masters. I learn a lot from these earlier masters, I am so appreciate, but I also realize how different I am from any of them, including all contemporary artists now a day. I draw with cross-hatching, which started from etching, I extreme it push it to the end. My drawing is tonal, not line-drawing. And the way I do cross-hatching is gradually, the shadows show up a little by a little, not do the darkest dark right away, different from some charcoal artists. I notice Leonardo's figure drawings based on analyze and understanding, rather than direct observation, which is very beautiful, but misleading for learners. I realize that I am my own kind, I am a lone artist. What I am doing with my work is opening a new time: New Renaissance, which means learn from great masters, but create something new, something personal, is more emotional expression, just with drawing. I know, I have become a great artist, by now, I know i made it, I know I am a great artist now. I am so limited, but infinite also. i see something great from something subtle, turn daily work to be noble and meaningful. I will keep drawing, I will keep my word, no matter how reality turns out. My art is like a green apple tree.
Here I share with you some earlier sketches 20 years ago sketches, in "Hello Kitty" file, I feel nicely when looking at my earlier work. i wish to continue my drawing until 89, just like Michelangelo, he was keeping sculpting until end of his life, he is my hero. I wish by end of my life, when I looking back my lifelong drawings, I will feel content and peacefully, how is it going to feel like? I wish a solo exhibition at my dream museum--- The Metropolitan Museum of Art, I wish my drawing could be good enough, I wish my work could match the top museum, I will feel proud of myself again, just like how I felt when I was 26 years old, when I was doing cast-drawing at the cast-hall of PAFA for Josh, with green clips, at that moment I was a line drawing with a early Renaissance relief, I decided only draw, so I put down painting brush and pallet, but I may pick it up, since earlier masters had done tones of beautiful works, so I can learn from their works, and I may like painting again. I may feel tired, like any body else, I may tired, so I may take a break, and then I will back to my easel, open my pencil-case, and start my drawing day. i am thankful for my Theo-- Hao still supporting me, and I appreciate you like my drawings, that becomes encouragement for my career, some time when I could make my solo exhibition at the Met, I will invite you to come and look at my work, sincerely, thank you. by Melancholy Xiong Xuan on 2024-12-27
About my art: I am a pencil-work artist, because I swear to make drawing only, and the reason for that because I like the texture of pencil, like sand by seaside, I walk there, feel the sand underneath my feet, leaving footsteps behind me. I work with mechanical pencil, because it save me time to sharp it, and because it can reach max level of fineness, especially when it's a classical art theme, for example, my "Street-Musicians" series. I do cross-hatching gradually, rather then put darkest dark immediately, I perceive light and shadow gradually, especially the strongest contrast between light and shadow, it takes time to understand why somewhere looks stronger than elsewhere, it's the earliest lesson I learnt since childhood, which is if the light comes from right, then the shadow will be on the opposite direction, the farther it's distant from the light-source, the weaker it appears, and contours under the dark areas will be blurry, as it retreating into the background. I do not use cotton or stump to smear pencil marks, I just build up with my mechanical pencil, because I prefer leave some texture of cross-hatching on the paper. My drawing paper are board mat using in frame-shop, it's strong enough to let me do cross-hatching for 50 layers. I do vertically and diagonally, and then I turn my paper horizontally, to be able to do cross-hatching from the opposite direction. Gradually I have trained my eyes to continue working when it's turned horizontally. I love my printing pictures, it teaches me to observe carefully, and be patient during working. I know there are differences between photos and actual drawings, and I do not try to mimic to be the same as what I trying to learn, especially when some contours look so sharp that it must look like a paper-cut if I make the shape sharply, that's where I decided to smear the contours, to make it fading away and retreating back until disappeared gradually, so that you could feel the space around the figure. I love classical paintings, especially the Renaissance period of time, I got amazed by the calm, peaceful, serenely mood in the pictures, including Greek sculptures can refract the atmosphere of something holy and beautiful. I noticed in classical paintings, there are blurry contours retreating around the figures, to step back into the darker background. I always darken the background to be darker gray, because in reality, no matter where I look at, there are backgrounds around whatever I am looking at, and there is no absolute whiteness background, so I darken the sky and the foreground darker, gradually, of course. The areas the feet stepping on will be dramatically dark, it's the darkest dark in the picture. I still haven't figure out darkest dark mixed with oil, the technique is unknown for me, I put it aside right now, I will find the way later on. I do not like charcoal and white chalk, because my logic is the build up light and shadow effect gradually, and indirectly, rather than dark with charcoal at once, also because I do not like make powders full of my hand. In order to protect my drawing during work, I put a transparent plastic paper on top, fix with clips on top, so it wouldn't got blurred unnoticed. I keep my drawings with me, because sometimes I miss a specific piece, so I took it up, mount it on the wall, and take a look, sometimes redraw it or make some changes. Just like right now, I hang my earlier 5 years ago work, and still make necessary changes, looking at those faces and figures I did, I still feel the passion I used to travel with. Each drawing is a gurney. I wouldn't try to sell my work right now, because I am accumulating works right now, so far I have finished one fifth of my goal, I still have 200 drawing papers, I will finish each piece with all my effort and sincerity, as I promised to my pencil "Pinky" I will continue my career, no matter there is applause or not, no matter it is a glory or gloomy in front, I will do my work all by myself, until I am ready for my exhibition some day. I see hope in my work, I know it's not easy all the way until here, so much difficulties and harsh time had passed, I see a glory sun warming my heart, with tears. My aim is to become a great artist, how to define it then? I think the answer is simple: a great artist who can makes great artworks. I am a conservative person, I wouldn't do modern art, my art is very limited, but within the limitness I have found infinite meanings, that's why I am still so eager with every single pencil mark I put on paper. I like modern art too, so beautiful and creative, but I choose to make my art my own way. My goal is to draw better than Leonardo DaVinci, I believe I can make it some day. So when I am drawing another 30 years, I look back, as I sifting through my works, I could proudly point out some masterpieces. I know I can do well, or badly, through time, I will make progress, and I will feel the depth of artwork like in blurry water. When I am swimming, I feel released from the pressure of my art, just like take a break, doing something completely different. I am learning a book about Van Gogh with an audible book, I need to stimulate my thoughts a little, so that my mind wouldn't hover in old memories, especially some hurtful ones. As long as there is no war, it's a nice day, and my normal working day is the greatest gift for my life. I thank who made it for me. I thank you, who care about me and checking my website sometimes. I love you Josh, I made a Chinese name for you: 小泽 handwriting by Melancholy Xiong Xuan on April 25, 2025.
here I tell you a little bit about myself: I was born in the suburb of Beijing, a small village, December 26th 1984, my mother told me it wasn't too much pain when berthing me, but it was a great deal of pain when she was berthing my elder sister, who is 4 years older than me, she was born in the year of monkey, and I was a little mouse. But it took so much care and love and painstakingly paying tuitions during my growing. My parents were local peasants, after all lands got overtaken by government, they raised sheep for some time, I still remember my mother used to hold a little lamp for me to draw it, I love that lamp portrait so much, I named it "Prince", but I lost that sketchbook unfortunately. My father was a carpenter, he actually built our house in traditional Chinese style, with red pillars and beautiful paintings on the wall, and he was always so proud about himself, keep bragging his house was the most beautiful building in the village, especially the front entrance looks extraordinarily, I love my father, I was his proud. And then my parents became butchers, they sold pork in farmers market, they lived harshly for the sake for me and my sister, I didn't realize how heavy money could be until I was the one to carry 8000 Yuan tuition to my high school, from that moment on I started studying hard, and finally made my goal --- I got in Tsinghua University the art academy, which is the best of my country, I studied 4 years there, 2003--2007, in painting major, of course, we had drawing classes also, I started my cross-hatching style since then, but at that time, I wasn't aware of it yet. Actually I started very early in my life, about 9 or 10 years old, I told my mother when I grow up I want to be a great artist, and my mother brought me to Children's Palace, registered in a traditional painting class with Wang, that is a big-belly man with thick beard, his work usually about mountains, cloud-seas, trees and rivers and stoned village tableaus, he was always smiling watching us, he even still remember my childhood portrait of my grandpa lying on bed, he cried when I revisited him. I was new to this world, and it seems there are so many interesting things attracted me, I feel exciting when drawing them, just sketch line drawings, I remember there was once I caught a big insect with wings, and I drew it, and anther time I was drawing white autumn flowers overnight, my mother surprised to see me still drawing there when she got up in the morning. During my mid-school, I was already a little woman, and I fell in love with a young man, he was very lovely and handsome by the way, I thought I was going to marry him when graduated, we were writing letters for 8 years until there was a moment I realized I need to end the relationship for my art, I was very sad about it and regret sometimes, I was drawing him and draw a seaside view showing us sitting side by side, hand in hand, watching the vast sea, that's what I imagined the love scene. During University time, I was reading art history and a lot of literatures, both Chinese and Western, and I fell in love with Vincent Van Gogh, I copied his paintings day after day, I got attracted by his brilliant colors and audacious compositions, when I read his biography, I noticed the frequency of his creation, especially during the time when he was living in the south area of France, he made paintings every day, almost every single day a new piece of art, I love his sun-flowers, I love his starry starry night, I love his battered shoes, I love his flowers and I love his letters with Theo. At that time I was fancying going abroad, especially go to France, go to the countryside where Millet was, when I realized my family couldn't afford that, I cried silently when I was painting, I cried and cried until the moment I accepted reality. But I didn't know one day I would be in America, and see the great Metropolitan Museum of Art, that's because of my husband, my Theo in my life, as He got enrolled in PSU as a PHD student, he brought me to the United States. He is my best friend and faithful supporter, listener and reader, I sincerely appreciate every single day with him, he let me feel so safe and stable, and encourages me keeping doing my art, I am happy with him, I swear wouldn't leave him after I left the art school in Philadelphia, PAFA, the Pennsylvania Academy of the fine arts, I was studying there for 2 years, like Mary Cassatt did, I was standing in the middle of the tremendous cast-hall, I was dumbfounded by the beauty of those ancient sculptures, and I decided only draw, only do drawings for the rest of my life, my favorite cast-drawing during that time was named "Joey", it's a 14th century early Renaissance relief, it's 3 angles walking towards temple, the girl in the front was holding hands together in front of her chest, as if she is holding something, but there is nothing in her hands, I think it's sincerity, the drawing was made to trying to prevent a professor about absent for a year from the school, I wanted to give my drawing to him to not let him go... that's my most beautiful drawing I ever done, 10 years later, I did a copy of it, with orange pencil, but it couldn't reach the height I used to be. I think about the reason of it, it was because I was completely engaged in it, and that was the first time I perceived the relief, the simple beauty and the elegant lines attracted me. i did it on coffee-colored cardboard, and then glue it on gray cardboard, to show the wall color. Now I recall how I was during the two years there, I was always drawing, I was so proud and even arrogant somehow, time was flying so fast.I.got inspired by my drawing teacher Michael Grimaldi, I still think, even now, still think his drawings was the most beautiful works among the academy teachers, I recorded when he was teaching me, and then I was trying to understand him, why he was talking so fast? That's fascinating for me. I admired him and appreciated him. For several years he was my inspirations and he was my communication in mind, I was talking to him and wanted to talk to him, I even didn't know thoughts may flowing like a stream, or one day, it may suddenly stop. Right now I am an independent artist, working alone, at my small-island studio, which is actually just my little apartment, my sweat home with my sweat husband Hao. I only make drawings, but i may break for a moment to do some landscapes paintings with my early hero Vincent Van Gogh, that would be after i finish my current work, it's Street-musicians, 280 by 60 inches, pencil on paper, I spent about half a year to start it, right now, it's going to be detailed, and it will need about another half a year to finish, I like it so far it's still looks very light, orange toned paper makes it seems brown toned. Right now I live in Virginia, for 8 years, I finished a group of fabric studies, two sets of studio interiors, and a series of street musicians. Art is not easy, it takes so long to be able to be preparatory, to be able to make a shape correctly, and then you need to practice a lot to be yourself, to find your way, and to put down whoever used to be significant for you, no matter who they are, either it's a great master in the art history, or it's a earlier art teacher, right now, I am the artist, and I have to make my own art my own way, completely by myself!. So please understand I need a quiet studio environment, so that I can concentrate my mind with my pencil, so that I can feel my work is going on with my hand, it's very very important, so please leave me space, let me draw by myself, let me be totally engaged with my work, I am a great artist, i started my art-learning since my girlhood, and I still stick on with it now, i know I have very sensitive talent about light and shadow illusions, I am making something great now, so please let me draw, I feel desperate about my reality situation, but now I really appreciate I could make my art here, without have to find a job. For those friendly people who like my work, I will update my drawings on my website often, so you could see, sometimes when I have something to say, I will write essays, so you could know me a little better. Thank you so much for everything you have done for me, thank you. by Melancholy Xiong Xuan 2025-3-17
Moses-1 is just finished, while Moses-2 is just started.